Operator: ' Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your...'
Customer: 'Salam Ale koum, can I order..'
Operator: 'Can I have your UAE identity card number please, Sir?'
Customer: ' It's eh..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049
998-45-54610'
Operator: 'OK... you're... Mr Waleed from Syria and you're calling
from Flat #402, Al Maskaan Building, Bur Dubai. Your
home number is 04-3661231, your office number is
04-8852302 & your mobile number is 050-2665667. Where has
the delivery to take place Sir?'
Customer: ' Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator: ' We are connected to the system Sir'
Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'
Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'
Customer: 'How come?'
Operator :'According to our medical records - you went for your check
up last week to Welcare Hospital &
you have high blood pressure and even higher
cholesterol level Sir'
Customer:'What? ... What do you recommend then?'
Operator :'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'
Customer:'How do you know for sure?'
Operator :'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from
the National Library in Deira, last week Sir'
Customer:'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?'
Operator :'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total
is Dirham 112.00'
Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'
Operator :'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your First Gulf
credit card is over the limit and you owe Citibank Credit
card another Dirham 3,720.55 since October. That's
not including the late payment charges on your housing loan
to NBD, Sir.'
Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives'
Operator :'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your
daily limit on HSBC ATM withdrawal for today'
Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?'
Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your Honda Civic...'
Customer: 'What!'
Operator :'According to the details in system ,your Honda Civic's
Registration ie Malkia is expiring in 23 days & your Gargash
Insurance has already got expired last week....
Customer:'?? ??'
Operator :'Is there anything else Sir?'
Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me those 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?'
Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're
also diabetic.... ... '
Customer:#$$ ^%&$@$% ^ tm kiere.....abe ytga...npiye! !!!!!!....
......... .
Operator :'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 2008
on Dubai Hatta Road, when you wrongly overtook
the BMW & you were convicted of using abusive
language also on the policeman... ?'
Customer (fainted)
Operator : hello hello, are you still there ....
